


how much is love meant to hurt?

by svnflowerz



Category: The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, Midnight Conversations, cog spoilers, quarantine content, shifting tenses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:28:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23240254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/svnflowerz/pseuds/svnflowerz
Summary: there is a boy named jamie. he was born with demon blood, though he always put more merit in it than it was worth. or perhaps it was everyone else that didn’t put enough worth in? It is hard to tell.but, there is a boy named jamie. he said once, “i am a herondale. we love but once.”.midnight requests from one's fiance can save a marriage before it's begun.
Relationships: Cordelia Carstairs/James Herondale
Comments: 3
Kudos: 51





	how much is love meant to hurt?

**Author's Note:**

> i would like to congratulate cc on finally writing a m/f pairing i didn't want to vastly improve. did not think she could do it! im betting on the ghostwriters.  
> nyways, i've been writing last hours fics for like 5 years now and i managed to put off writing jordelia on here until now but..i will confide in the 3 of u reading this. I secretley liked jordelia (not secretley if you can find cc's pinterest tbh, im all over the early pins comments) before i realized i was a lesbian when i came up with the annadelia ship w a friend i met on pinterest. early shadowhunters fandom was truly on pinterest, i tell you.  
> anyhow, this ship has been lowkey dear to me for a while, not quite as much as annadelia but still, and i figure i could finally write them something now that they've earned themselves a full published book and everything.  
> also: shoutout to those of u who were there with me that all came to the conclusion that the bracelet made james in love with grace and that was the weird circumstance and that them being dumb bitches who protected each others honour was the reason they were married. i was one of the ones who guessed right back in 2014 el oh el.  
> enjoy! i put minimal effort but i still care <3

there is a boy named jamie. he was born with demon blood, though he always put more merit in it than it was worth. or perhaps it was everyone else that didn’t put enough worth in? It is hard to tell. 

but, there is a boy named jamie. he said once, “i am a herondale. we love but once.”

once, he fell ill and his sister’s friend read to him in his fever and he fell in love with her dark red hair and her dark brown skin and her beautiful, beautiful voice. he grew well and left her home, but she did not leave his heart. 

once, there was a boy named jamie. he spent every summer in idris in a house next to a girl with fair hair and a mother worse than she deserved. he felt pity for her and so he kept her company and - one day he was excited enough for the visit of his sister’s friend, the girl he kept in his heart, that he shared this news with this neighbor, this friend, of his. 

it was a mistake, but how was jamie to know?

the girl, the neighbor, the friend. she could see so clearly the love the boy felt and told him so. and then - because her mother bade it so - she bound his love away. jamie said once, “i am a herondale. we love but once.” but the girl was special and could make love seem to be where it was not. the neighbor, the friend, asked him to bind himself with a braclet. he did. a silver cuff - a chain he could not escape. 

a false gift tied away true love.

there is a boy named jamie. he knew only how to be loyal, even when that loyalty was for a false love. a love that made him ache in a way love never should. he wore a silver cuff around his wrist that blocked away the first and only love he could truly have. this sounds like a sad story, does it not?

oh, it is. in many ways it is. but, the friend, the neighbor, that jamie made could feel pity in her heart too. so when she was able, or perhaps when she realized she herself could not use him anymore, she let him free from his bracelet and his heart thrummed a melody he had almost forgotten. _dai-sy. da-i-sy. d-a-i-sy. d-a-i-s-y. daisy._

there was a girl named cordelia. her mother and her brother called her layla and her sister in arms and the boy who held the key to her heart called her daisy. when she was younger she nursed a boy named jamie back to health and from then on nursed a love in her heart. 

do you see? do you see how pretty and neat and lovely it could have been? cordelia had a mother who wished her happily married and jamie two parents who had always been fond of cordelia’s family and wanted only good for their son. cordelia, dearest of friends and sisters in arms with jamie’s sister in blood. do you see? it was almost as if the angel had wished it so and, jamie’s family had had more dealings with angels and demons than most. 

jamie was bound by a silver cuff, but everytime he was let loose his heart beat _daisy_. and he found his way to her. cordelia was as loyal a lover as the daisy she was called would suggest. she took him the first time he returned to her. she took him the second. then, she took him even when he was wearing a cuff that bound him away except-

she was not an angel. though, perhaps an angel would have been less forgiving. she was not an angel, so on the day before she promised to wed her love, her jamie (though he could not be hers with what bound him away) she asked him a simple request. 

_it is late at night, the wedding is to take place outdoors, but lucie insisted that cordelia prepare in the institute. lucie said that if it was not to be a real marriage, it should at least be fun. sona hand protested gently, but she knew that her daughter would be kept far away and in the safe hands of her parabatai, and lucie was always careful about not letting others monopolize time she had claimed for her and cordelia. so cordelia spent her last unmarried night in lucie’s room for as long as she could but-_

_the marriage was a white marriage. a false marriage for a year. a marriage to keep james from punishment for only doing what he could not help to do. and yet, cordelia did not want disloyalty. she had asked just that of james when he’d gone down on one knee to protect cordelia’s honour after she had lied to protect him. he had agreed, and yet._

_and yet he still wore another girl’s bracelet around his wrist. so cordelia could not fall asleep the night before her wedding, because she would not marry a man who was tied to another so visibly. she did not know what time it was when she finally slipped out from the bed she was sharing with lucie, but it did not seem to matter anymore. she was careful to be as quiet as she could to not wake lucie. thankfully, lucie was a terribly heavy sleeper. cordelia tied back her red locks with a ribbon she found on lucie’s vanity. she looked for a robe, but settled for a discarded blanket from earlier in the day._

_then, with the ribbon that likely clashed horribly with her hair (it was too dark to tell) and the blanket wrapped around her shoulders, cordelia crept out from the room and tiptoed down the hall as if she was a stealth demon._

_it was easy to find james’ room. she’d visited him in there before, both when he was ill and the times when his parents shoved them into it with mischievous looks. she paused when she finally reached it. there was a part of her that still felt as if she was asking for too much when she asked for loyalty. but-but this would still be her only first wedding day. and, frankly, it was a wedding day she had dreamed of for years, all the way down to the groom it would be. she scrunched up her eyes and told herself she deserved loyalty at the very least on the day of their wedding. so cordelia held her breath and lightly knocked on the door._

_she had hoped, in the back of her mind, that her knock would be too light for james to hear and she would have to find her way back to lucie’s room, out of luck. her hopes were ignored. she heard bedsheets rustling and footsteps and then-_

_“daisy? Is that you on the other side of the door?” the voice was hoarse, a little tired. and it was clearly james. cordelia felt her skin heat at the sound of his rasps and cleared her throat as discreetly as she could._

_“er, yes. sorry.”_

_“no worries, daisy,” james said on the other side of the door. cordelia could almost hear the smile in his voice. “i would open the door, but it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding.”_

_cordelia snorted at that, but said no more, her words suddenly lost._

_james waited a moment before speaking up again, “daisy, are you alright? is there something you need?”_

there _, cordelia thought._ this is the moment. _and it was. “james. i know this is a little silly but, well. do you think you could take of grace’s bracelet just for the wedding? i understand that the marriage isn’t to be real, but it is going to be a wedding, my first wedding, nonetheless and i don’t really want it to be to man wearing a token of affection for someone else.”_

_there was another pause when cordelia finished. she bit her lip, and opened her mouth to take back what she had just said-_

_“daisy close your eyes, please,” james said._

_“um, alright.” cordelia did as she asked, and then she heard the creak of the door and felt the woosh of air and then - the warmth of james close to her._

_“see, my eyes are closed because it’s bad luck and i think it’s only fair if yours are as well. now, will you take the bracelet off yourself and keep it for me? that way you’ll know i don’t have it.”_

_cordelia smiled, eyes still closed, and reached out and fumbled for james’s wrist. her hand’s met jame’s arm and she took a quick breath when she realized he at the very least wasn’t wearing a shirt with sleeves. then she hurried on and let her hands trace down his arm to try and not seem out of place, they settled on the cold metal of the silver bracelet and she snapped it off and pulled it close to her. she hear james let out a breath almost-almost of relief?_

_“i-cordelia?”_

_“yes james?”_

_“i. please never let me wear that bracelet ever again.”_  
_  
“um, if you’re sure james.”_

_“i’m sure. well, i think we both ought to go back to bed. It’s late and we’re to be married tomorrow. utb, cordelia. do you think we could talk once more tomorrow, before the wedding?”_

_“if you’d like, of course,” cordelia said. and then, smiling, she added. “afterall, i did wake you up in the middle of the night to talk to me. i think a chat in the day can easily be arranged.”_

_james laughed lightly. then, they bid each other goodnight and cordelia rushed back to bed and hid the bracelet in the bottom of lucie’s dresser before falling asleep easily._

_the next day there was a wedding that was not nearly as much of a sham as it would’ve been with a silver cuff._

there is a request made by a girl named cordelia to a boy named jamie at the witching hour. there is a conversation that quickly became a confession and reveal of bound love hours before a wedding. 

there is a boy named jamie. once jamie said, “i am a herondale. we love but love once.” he is ridiculously lucky enough to marry the girl he loved. 

**Author's Note:**

> ty for reading!  
> you can find me on tumblr on my main @wlwhestia, my booklr @inotherlanz or my writblr @alienwriterings. my pinterest is not longer tlh themed so you cannot find me there.


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